Trying to come to terms with the fact that i was planning to kill myself that evening. I kind of get the feeling i'll always have the option on the table for myself. The thoughts of killing myself aren't what plague me.
I guess it was ritualistic in a sense. A way to painlessly kill yourself is by tying a noose to your neck, getting on a tall surface, and then jumping. Just that feeling where you’re kind of numb to the bullshit life brings.
I’m at that point quite often. I care too much about my family and friends to kill myself at this point and i just feel. I worked for a while and bought myself a little car, i drive around and listen to music, i try food from different places with that car, with or without people coming with me, that’s what keeping. That will snap your neck and if done right you'll die instantly.
( not fall damage ) archived post. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. It’s like, i don’t want to kill myself, but i’d welcome death so long as i don’t suffer. I do not want to kill myself, but the urge i feel to end it all is becoming.
The day took on a meditative, surreal. It's the fact that i simply do not want to exist anymore. I'm pretty confident i won't get much better and i'm quite comfortable at my lows now. I’m not planning to kill myself immediately, i guess i’m just upset to realize my suicidal ideation no longer has any borders, that i’m not afraid to die like i used to be.
Is there a way to kill myself with a gun or something fast and easy.